A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America :
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"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )
"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)
"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
I'm turnng 40 in just 3 months. I've been telling everyone that I plan on being in the best shape of my life by then. I found a great FREE site that creates diet and exercise plans to help you reach your goals. Anyway, here's the official info on the site:
SparkPeople.com
The primary site, SparkPeople.com offers a free four-stage SparkDiet program which uses tools, content, and support to help users make lifestyle changes. Users are prompted to enter height, weight, and amount they intend to exercise, as well as a target date and weight. The site then gives recommendations for calorie, fat, and carbohydrate intake based on calculated BMR, as well as a personalized fitness plan. Users can enter the foods they eat and exercises they complete and are given feedback via charts and prompts on their progress. The site also has numerous articles on nutrition, fitness, motivation, and general health. Support is provided through other users and SparkPeople experts on messageboards as well as from social networking features like member pages (SparkPages), teams (SparkTeams) of users with some common bond (like quilting or college students), and blogs.
SparkPeople.com was named the winner of BusinessWeek's Best of The Web : Health in 2006 and 2007
In January 2007, SparkPeople.com was ranked by Hitwise as the 6th most visited site in the "Health and Medical - Wellbeing" category (and 3rd among diet sites)
Are you kidding me? I had no idea that speech recognition had come this far! I was looking into buying dragon naturally speaking version 9 based on an article that I had read the other day. I  was reading reviews and they mentioned Microsoft speech recognition. I had just bought a new PC with vista installed so, I decided to give it a try (since it comes free with vist.) Boy, was I ever surprised.  I had used dragon naturally speaking quite a few years ago and it never really work that well. So here I am many years later and I'm actually typing this blog with my voice.
I don't really have anything else to say about it. Just that it's really cool, really fast, and really easy.